


Forget-Me-Not

by TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite



Series: SPN AU Bingo Fills [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Florist Dean, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-11 19:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13531206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite/pseuds/TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite
Summary: The flower shop is her pride and joy





	Forget-Me-Not

_ “Hey, sweetheart,” Dean murmurs, sitting on the edge of your hospital bed. _

_ Y/N smiles up at him. “Hey, handsome. Come here often?” _

_ He chuckles and leans in the kiss her forehead below where it’s covered by a knit cap that Sam’s wife, Jess, made for her. She made piles, so Y/N has a new one every day. It’s a little thing, but he knows how much she loves picking out which one she wants to wear every morning. It’s one of the few things left she has control over. _

_ “Every day,” he says quietly. _

_ Y/N takes his hand and presses his knuckles to her lips. “Mmm, must be a reason for that.” _

_ “There is. She’s beautiful and smart and funny.” _

_ “Sounds like a nice lady.” _

_ Dean noses against the top of her head. “She’s amazing. I think you would like her.” _

_ Her laugh is still one of the most beautiful things he’s ever heard. _

* * *

 

The shop doesn’t feel as lively today. Dean leans against the counter, watching Kaia, Y/N’s apprentice and kind of adopted daughter, make the arrangements for an upcoming wedding order. She’s usually quiet, but today it’s extra slow, and she doesn’t waste a single breath talking if she doesn’t have to. She seems to be floating around the store in some sort of haze.

Dean understands.

* * *

 

_ “How’s Kaia?” _

_ Y/N’s body is frail against Dean’s side, but he does his best to ignore that and answer the question. _

_ “Good. She’s doing really well,” he tells her. “She asked me to remind you that she’s coming to visit tomorrow.” _

_ “I miss her.” _

_ “She misses you.” _

_ “What about Skittles?” _

_ “As dumb as ever.” _

_ Y/N pouts and Dean chuckles. _

_ “She fell off the front counter this morning,” he explains. “Landed on all fours, but still. That cat is the only cat I’ve ever met that legitimately falls off of things.” _

_ “True,” she giggles, snuggling deeper against his side. “But you love her.” _

_ “Nah.” _

_ “Liar.” _

* * *

 

“Mew.”

Dean sighs, looking down at the fluffy cat rubbing up against his calves. “I know,” he says, leaning down to scoop Skittles up. “I know.” He sets the cat on the counter, where she stretches lazily and rubs against his belly until he pets her. The rumble of her purr is familiar and it hurts.

* * *

 

_ “No!” Y/N gasps when Jess comes into the room with a bundle of blankets cradled to her chest, Dean right behind. “You didn’t!” _

_ “Passed her off as the baby,” Jess says brightly, setting the blankets on the bed and revealing the beautiful long-haired tabby. Skittle mewls and immediately curls up on Y/N’s lap. “No one even questioned us.” _

_ “You guys are geniuses,” she says, scratching her cat’s ears and listening to the resulting purr. _

_ Dean holds his hands up. “That was all Jess’s idea.” _

_ The blonde shrugs modestly. “We can’t stay for long, but I know how much you’ve missed her and she’s definitely missed you, too.” _

_ Y/N smiles softly, and lifts the cat up to kiss her head. “I know. Thank you.” _

* * *

 

“Dean?”

Sam’s voice is soft, but it seems devastatingly loud in the quiet of the empty shop. The front lights are off, the door lock clicking shut behind Sam, and Kaia is long gone home. Dean’s just sitting in the back office, Skittles clutched to his chest even though his nose is starting to itch- she doesn’t set his allergies off like other cats do, but enough contact will eventually get him sneezing. He doesn’t care. The soft purring against his ribs is the only thing keeping back the tears.

“Back here,” he says softly.

Sam appears in the doorway and leans against the frame. “Hey. We missed you at dinner tonight.”

“Sorry.” Dean turns his face away. “Kaia has a test tomorrow. I took her closing shift so she can go study.”

“That was really nice of you.”

“I guess.”

“Think you’ll make it to dinner next week?”

“I’ll try.”

Sam sighs deeply. “Jess misses you. And it’d be nice for Bobby to see his uncle.”

* * *

 

_ “He’s getting so big,” Y/N murmurs, reaching over to gently stroking Bobby’s fine blonde hair with one slender hand. _

_ “They grow so fast,” Sam agrees. He looks huge beside her on the couch, and even bigger compared to Bobby. “Wanna hold him?” _

_ Her eyes light up and Dean’s glad that that joy hasn’t been destroyed by all this- that joy he fell in love with in the first place. “Yes, please.” _

_ Sam carefully helps her take Bobby, getting him positioned so she can hold him without putting too much strain on her arms. _

_ “He’s so beautiful,” she whispers, gazing down at him. _

_ “He looks a lot like Jess,” Sam observes. _

_ “Maybe,” Y/N agrees. “But he definitely got your nose.” _

_ “How can you tell? It’s all squishy still.” _

_ “Trust me on this one.” _

* * *

 

“Come on, I brought leftovers. Let’s go upstairs and eat.” Sam holds up a bag of tupperware.

“I’m okay here.”

“Dean. I know you’ve been sleeping in here or on your living room couch. That’s not good for you. You gotta go sleep in your bed.”

Dean shakes his head, rubbing his cheek against the top of Skittles’ head. “Can’t.”

“You won’t know if you can or can’t unless you try.”

“Don’t wanna try.”

“Dean.”

“Leave it, Sam.”

* * *

 

_ “How did cleaning go?” _

_ Dean bites his lip, pushing his food around his plate. Y/N sighs. _

_ “You didn’t do it.” _

_ “I was gonna-” _

_ “No, Dean, you weren’t. I know you. You’re gonna keep avoiding it.” _

_ “I just… we were gonna do it together.” _

_ “I know, but now you have to do it without me. I need you to do this for me. I need to know all that stuff is gone before I come home.” _

_ If she comes home, but Dean doesn’t say that. _

* * *

 

Sam leaves the food with him when he goes. Dean reluctantly makes his rounds, double checking all the locks. He flicks off the last lights, leaving only the security lights on, and begins the long journey up the stairs to his far too empty apartment.

Dean puts the tupperware in the fridge, alongside all the others Jess and Ellen and the neighbors have brought that he’s hardly touched. A few of them have probably turned into science projects by this point, but he can’t bring himself to care.

He takes the pile of bedding from the end of the couch and spreads it out. He changes into the pajamas he left on the coffee table before heading to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth and washes his face and shaves. Goes through the motions.

On the way back to the living room, he passes by the door he hasn’t opened in months. Couldn’t bring himself to open, not even when Y/N asked him to. It’s not locked- never has been. All it would take is turning the knob and-

The room is dark. There’s dust, but Dean doesn’t see it. He sees the pale blue walls, the Winnie the Pooh decals on the wall above the dark wood of the empty crib, and the surge of emotion is overwhelming.

The carpet is soft under his knees when he hits the floor- virtually untouched. The room seems to echo his sobs back to him, magnifying his pain tenfold, and he can’t do it.

He can’t do this.

* * *

 

_ “So, lilies signify innocence?” _

_ “That’s right,” Y/N praises as a nurse checks the needle depositing medicine into her veins. “Can you be more specific, though?” _

_ Dean rubs a hand through his hair. “Well, they’re usually used for funerals because they represent the returned innocence of the person who’s passed. White lilies specifically symbolize purity and majesty.” _

_ “Exactly. See, you’re getting this.” _

_ He grins sheepishly. “Yeah?” _

_ “Yeah. You’ll be a pro in no time.” _

_ “Memorizing flower meanings doesn’t makes me a florist, babe.” _

_ “I know, but it means you can help people pick their flowers so Kaia has less to worry about. She can teach you about arranging them if you want.” _

_ “I don’t think I have the eye for that.” _

_ “I think you doubt yourself.” _

_ Dean sighs deeply, turning his face into Y/N’s neck. “I can’t do this, sweetheart.” _

_ “If anyone can do this, Dean, it’s you.” _

_ “You think so?” _

_ “I know so, baby. I know so.” _

* * *

 

“I know you never liked lilies much,” Dean says, kneeling on the still-new grass that’s sprouted since the funeral. “So I, uh- I made sure there weren’t any at the funeral. You probably noticed that. Probably noticed what I replaced them with. All the ones Kaia made have wilted and been thrown away, though, so I- I brought you new ones.”

He sets the fresh bouquet of tiny purple-blue flowers in the pot beside the stone.

“Your favorite,” he murmurs. “I’ll, um. I’ll make sure there’s always fresh ones in the store. Kaia’s been teaching me about arranging, but I’m not very good at it yet. Maybe next week I’ll throw in some other flowers. You don’t mind me practicing on you, right? I’m getting better at remembering what they all mean- not that I could ever forget these. Memories. Faithfulness. Undying love.” He gently brushes his fingers along the edge of one miniscule petal. “I miss you, sweetheart. I’ll bring Skittles with me next week. Bet she would like the fresh air. Okay?” Dean traces the letters carved into the stone. “I’ve gotta go man the shop, but I’ll be back next week. I love you.” He turns to the smaller stone a few inches away. “Hi, Mary. Daddy loves you. I miss you, baby.”

The words catch in his mouth, tangled up in a sob he can’t hold back. The force of it surprises him, and he hunches over, bracing himself with a hand on the tiny stone. The edges of the carved letters dig into his palm.

“I miss you,” he manages. He moves his hand to the bigger stone. It’s cold against his skin. “I miss you so much.”


End file.
